The Glen Sathers Award Part I

I thought it'd be a good time to analyze the team's in the NHL that is run by the worst management when it comes to contracts and signings. Hopefully by the end of it, we can determine the most poorly run organization.

Some factors to consider:
1) Amount of money given to players
2) Length of contract
3) How generally negative this is.

1 - Piss poor holy hell what have we done with our franchise
10 - Wow

Let's start off with the NW Division

Vancouver Canucks
Luongo - 100 years @ 6 million : I would say that this is their worst contract since they are strapped with Bobby Poo for so long. However, you could argue that after this season, this is a perfectly fine contract.

Also, the Sedin and Kesler contracts are starting to look brilliant. Fuck off Vancouver

Rating - 9

Colorado Avalanche
Paul Statsny - 5 years @ 6.6 million: This was a pretty bad signing. They overpaid him by like 1.6 million. However, he's not too much of a problem because the rest of the roster is making pocket change so it doesn't affect the situation much. We'll see what they do with Douchene

Rating - 6

Minnesota Wild
Mikko Koivu - 7 year @ 47.25 million: This guy is a point a game player but still, almost 7 million a year seems high. BIt overpaid, but he's the top scorer on their team.

Nick Shultz - 3 years left @ 3.6 million / year: A guy that I don't even know existed should not be making 3.6 million a year.

Rating - 5

Edmonton Oilers
Whorecoff - really long at way too much. If you ever have to feel bad about a contract, just compare it to Whorecoffs and you will probably feel better about yourself. This guy was making 6 million a year!!!!!!!!!! Bad signing.

Drunk Driving Bulin - 3.75 for 3 years. Ouch.

At least Oil have lots of cap room to play with, most of the other players don't make much. Ryan Whitney is at 5mil but he's been a workhorse for the team

Rating - 4

Calgary Flames
Niklas Fagman -1 more year @ 3 million - ugh
Matt Stajan - 4 years @ 3.5 million cap hit - ugh^2
Ales Kotalreke- 1 more year @ million - ugh^3
Jay Blowmemister - 5 more years @ 6.6 million - ugh ^4 - shoots self in face

Rating - 1

Maybe we should rename this to the Darryl Sutter award

-Hal

Editors Note:You will notice i did not use a common method when describing contract length and price/caphit. It's cause I'm too damn lazy to do it that precisely.

Oil News

We don't talk about the Edmonton Oilers much. What I can tell you that they will not make playoffs next year.

THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS ANOTHER BOLD PREDICTION FROM BOWC.

Sure they will get another Top 2 pick, but honestly, they won't be able to fill out the gaps in their defense along with their terrible goaltending to make a run for the playoffs.

You can't expect Hall, Eberle, Top 2 Draft Pick, Hemsky to carry the entire load. We all know that Gags, Cogs, and Paajarvi are bums.

Looks like it'll be another tough year in Oilerville

-Hal

Stop Sucking Phaneuf 2.0

Ever since Dion Phanuef got reconstructive facial surgery, cut off some of his femur so he would be shorter, and changed his first and last name to Ian White, he has been sucking more than usual. This prolonged stunt has been going on for 8 months now, and the only way you can tell Dion Phanuef 1.0 to 2.0 is because he still wears the number 3.

Forgetting about his stats or +/- and the fact that he doesn’t fight or deliver crushing hits anymore (I can forgive that because of the smaller frame) I thought he would be faster but most of the time this season, I have just seen him getting burnt by Jordan Eberle.

Calgary and Edmonton have already played three of their six match ups, and Jordan Eberle has scored two goals. One highlight reel and the other sparked the massive three goal comeback that Calgary barely pulled through. BOTH goals were around Phaneuf v.2, and when watching the game all you ever see is Eberle dancing around Phaneuf (White) like a little bitch and getting an amazing scoring chance. This might be excusable since Phaneuf is just getting paid 3 million a year now but I swear if he gets beaten by Eberle another time this year I’m gonna force Darryl to trade him to Toronto.

-Hal

Changin the NHL

The most obvious change in the NHL is ramping up shootouts to 5 players, but that has been discussed by Hal for years so we'll leave that for another day.

The NHL should change the NHL entry level contract system. Right now Faylor Hall is sucking bigass balls and if Oil management were smart, they would send him down to the OHL so he doesn't start this 3 year contract after 9 games. However, sending Faylor back to the OHL is useless because he won't develop much. He will just rip apart the league and score 150 points, but probably won't be that beneficial.

However, if the Oil keep hall after 9 games but send him to the AHL, he will still start his 3 year contract. For sure he will develop, but it's kind of hindering the team.

I think they should be able to send these under 20 year olds to the AHL WITHOUT it counting toward their entry level contract. That would help all parties.

Wait, did I just suggest something that would help the Oilers?

Fuck you Oil, your team sucks.

-Hal

Bertuzzi

He had a great game again last night. He scored his fifth goal in his fifth game, still on pace for 82 goals this season.

He played with Iginla on the powerplay and it always looked deadly. Then he played with Conroy on the second line for much of the game. This line had a lot of pressure throughout the game, even though it did not score. Bertuzzi had good presence of mind, and was setting players up to put a lot of pressure on Edmonton.

The only complaint about Bertuzzi, would be that he is not being very physical. Every once in a while you see him line up for a big hit, but he usually lays off. Iginla has already been in 2 fights this season, but bert has not been in one.

Flames fans don't despair, you always start the season off really shitty. The fact that you've got Bert the superstar, and not Bert the Floater, means that you will have a great season.

check out this fight last night. the flames player looks like he got his ass kicked. but when you consider that Macintyre outweighs Prust by 75 pounds, then you realize that Prust did an amazing job. The hit by Macintyre is the best hit so far this season, and Prust had to stand up for his teamate who just got boulderized by Macintyre.



-hark