Sunday, February 6, 2011

David Hassle-MOSS

Some facts about David Hassle-Moss

1) The cumulative amount of time the puck on his stick in a single season is 4.21 seconds. During his atrocious 2009-2011 campaign, it sky rocketed to 1 minute because he tried to stick handle. However, this season he only touches the puck when he is about to shoot and tip.

2) Moss has scored a breakaway goal. He ran fanned on the shot and ran into the goalie and the puck slid in. Skillz.

3) Moss has successfully gained the opponents zone once in his life. He accounts it as a white blur and momentary black out of euphoria. The defender had tripped over a waffle that was tossed on the ice. Play was whistled down.

4) Mr. Moss began the 2009-2010 season on the Top line with Jarome Iginla and Olli A-jokeinin. Read that again. He was the TOP left winger in our depth chart. You can now comprehend why the Flames missed the playoffs.

5) Moss and Marcus Nilson have discussions on when he will be going to Europe to play together

6) Moss scores 95.7 % of his goals by tip-ins and that's the way it should be. That's when he's most effective

7) Moss is considered the Homeless man's Future 45 year old Ryan Smyth

8) Moss leads the Flames this year with four multi-goal games. However, everyone knows he still sucks

9) Moss manages to miss wide open nets with his wrister from four feet out because it's not a tip


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