Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Flames lose, Luongo sets world record

The people from the Guiness Book of World Records were on hand for last night's game to witness Roberto Luongo set a new world record, and they were not dissapointed. That's right, last night, Luongo officially set the new record for most objects larger than an orange shoved up one's anus and held there for over 2 hours, when he successfully held 28 horseshoes in his rectum for the duration of the game against Calgary. Many of you may be aware that the previous record was held by a fellow teammate of Luongo's, Pavol Demitra, when he did it in 2007 with 19 objects, which included things like hamsters, a grapefruit, a tv remote, Marion Gaborik's penis, and a BMW. When asked, Pavol Demitra said he was not jealous of his teammate, but he will do his best to break Luongo's record in the future. So, congratulations Roberto Luongo, but it sounds like your new record may be challenged very soon. Good luck hanging on to it. Not that you really need more luck.


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