Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Kontinental Hockey League Playoff Action!

Keep those visors on, it's playoff time in the KHL! Why watch regular season NHL hockey when you can watch the best the commies have to offer in the Kontinental Hockey Leauge playoffs? You can follow all the action at the official website, translated by google here:

But for those of you who aren't fluent in broken english, I'll catch you up to speed. They are currently in the semi-finals, with the team Ak Bars set to play Dynamo M, and the Yaroslav Lokotiv (Marcus Nilson's team) about to play Metallurgy Mg. That's right KHL superstar Marcus Nilson's team has moved on to the semi-final. He currently has 1 goal and 1 assist in 6 playoff games, compared to 5 goals and 3 assists in 36 regular season games. I was even able to find a mention of him in the write up for the first game of their last series vs. Spartak.

"The most realistic chance to open the account was in Yaroslavl. Marcus Nilson stood chic pause, and then tried to play a rebound from before pyatachke Alexei Mihnova. Oops, but the puck jumped on the blue line to Vitaly Vishnevsky, he clicked on the move, and the puck flew over the crossbar. Kochnev not even responded, but the cost."

As far as I can tell this describes a play where Marcus Nilson could have had a rebound but "Oops" he missed the puck and it went back to the blueline. This sounds like a typical Marcus Nilson contribution from his time with the flames so I assume my interpretation is correct. "Oops"could pretty much describe Nilson's entire career.

You know what really makes the Kontinental Hockey league rule? The names they have for the different positions. Check it out, Nilson is called a "Striker". Thats way more badass than "forward" and about they only thing you could possibly call Nilson that could make you forget what a boring piece of shit he is on the ice. Take a look:

Wow, Nlson is really kicking ass in the KHL. In the regular season he even had 1 RB or "crucial by bullets". I don't know what that is but it sounds badass. So anyway, that's all for now. GO LOCOMOTIV!


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