Wednesday, December 24, 2008

What the Teams want for X-Mas

Everyone wants something for Christmas. Hark got Sudin, I got my Bertuzzi shirt... so what does each team want?

NW Division
Calgary Flames - Bertuzzi to start scoring again
Vancouver Canucks - Luongo to be healthy and Mats to hurry up and start playing
Minnesota Wild - Gaborik to stop having rough sex with Demitra
Colorado Avalanche - For Joe Sakic to hire a servant to snow plow his driveway instead of doing it himself
Edmonton Oilers - Breaking of the 2006-2008 Oiler Curse: For Cole and Viskonvsky to do something

Pacific Division
San Jose Sharks - Joe Thornton to not suck in the playoffs
Anaheim Mighty Ducks - The healthy return of the Finnish Flash
Phoneix Coyotes - Make the playoffs!!!
LA Kings - Some good media presence now that Avery, Roenick, and Conroy are all gone
Dallas Stars - For Avery never to come back to their team

Central Division
Detroit Red Wings - For playoffs just to start
Chicago Blackhawks - To win the NHL Winter Classic and show the NHL what a amazing young team they are *cough* bullshit *cough*
Nashville Predators - TO be moved to Winnipeg
St Louis Blues - For all their injured players to make a healthy return

Southeast Division
Washington Capitals - Mike Green to be healthy
Carolina Hurricanes - Not to get their playoff spot jacked in the last game by Washington
Florida Panthers - To sell more than 2000 tickets a game
Atlanta Thrashers - To sell more than 2000 tickets a game
Tampa Bay Lightening - Send Stamkos back to Junior damnit

Northeast Division
Boston Bruins - Chuck Kobasew to return to form
Montreal Canadiens - Body armor incase they don't win the Stanley Cup
Buffalo Sabres - Getting out of a the crapville that is Buffalo
Toronto Maple Leafs - Thankful they are better than Ottawa
Ottawa Senators - Ray Emery back

Atlantic Division
New York Rangers - King Henry to be amazing again and to somehow dump some salary
Philadelphia Flyers - More Human growth hormone and steroids for Jeff Carter
New Jersey Devils - DOes this show that Martin Brodeur is overrated since Scott Clemmenson is doing a good enough job?
Pittsburgh Penguins - Dear god, give them a competent winger
New York Islanders - Hilary Duff recently says she TIVOs all the Islanders games to watch her man COmrie play. I don't think she knows enough about hockey to realize he sucks


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